“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”
Mark Twain
Something unfair happened. Someone “pissed in your Cheerios.” Then, you got angry.
There is a utility in anger. Babies feel it; adults feel it, and we have through our entire time on Earth. It’s built in our human operating system for a reason: If wrongs were done, and you went on your Pollyanna-ish way, those wrongs would continue. Anger is a useful emotion…for a period of time.
Once it drives an appropriate reaction, then the anger is no longer useful.
“If you are angry, don’t sin by nursing your grudge. Don’t let the sun go down with you still angry, get over it quickly” – ( Ephesians 4:26).
So, you’ve been shit on at work. For years, decades even. You’ve had enough. You’re angry with yourself for allowing it to go on so long. You’re angry that you were ever in the position that you felt like you had to put up with it. You’re angry at the people who profited off of you. This drives you to action… to change things… to envision, then act. Your life becomes better, making that anger a “good” thing. It spurred the change that was needed. Now move on.
Maybe the COVID-19 pandemic took what you thought was supposed to be your “best” year, and instead made it indescribably difficult. OK. What would make that terrible year worth something? The anger could drive you to make sure something unexpected doesn’t damage you so severely. The anger over what you perceive as “lost time” could cause you to examine all of the pettiness to which you’ve paid far too much attention. Then you might feel shame about having done so. What now? Use the shame to reconstruct your life in a manner that you’re not “losing time” to emotional spirals. Then, the shame and anger turn into a good thing.
A WARNING: Don’t cling to your anger it past it’s usefulness. Like the saying goes, it damages the vessel. YOU. Over time, kept anger will ruin ALL relationships.
Set a timer on your anger. Once it’s not useful. Let it go. Remember, anger is a first-person issue – always.
“How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.”
Marcus Aurelius
Andrew L Hamilton 